I’ve started noticing some trends that seem to be replicating themselves among my clients, friends and family, and in myself in regards to COVID. Back in the early days of coronavirus in March and April, there was a lot of fear, but with that fear came action - all of a sudden we were DIYing cloth masks, wearing gloves, changing grocery buying norms from once a week to bulk buying to last 2-3 weeks. We hunkered down in our homes preparing to wait out the virus. By about May and June, it seemed like a lot of people had gotten used to the new normal. While still hard and at times painful, folks had found their groove in zoom parties, homemade cocktails, bread making, and altered work/parenting/homeschooling schedules. It became more jarring to see people without a mask than with. From about mid-June to present though, so many folks are starting to move into feeling more and more depressed about the situation. The novelty of online socializing has lost its glittery newness. We’ve moved from “used to” to “oh my God, how much more of this can I/we take?”

If this resonates for you, know that you are not alone.

Living through a pandemic is hard. We’re living with so much grief and loss. Loss of life for some, loss of a way of life for everyone. Plans we were looking forward to and stages of life we were excited and ready to embark upon have been stripped away or transformed so completely as to remove much of the joy and anticipation. Even as you’re experiencing the pain and sadness of COVID, it’s easy to shame yourself with self-talk like, “I have my health, I have a job, I should be grateful, not depressed.” Certainly, gratitude for health and financial stability is appropriate and can even be supportive of your mental health, but trying to shame away your sad doesn’t work. Instead, you pile feeling badly about yourself on top of your pain.

As we look ahead into the second half of 2020, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the enormity of managing your way through this new normal that feels anything but normal. Try to be gentle with yourself, allow yourself to feel the painful emotions and reach out to your loved ones for support. And when your loved ones are reaching out to you, allow your pain to meet their pain. At first glance it may not make instinctive sense, but holding another person’s pain with them does far more to alleviate and soothe than trying to make it go away by cheering them up or reminding them of all they have to be grateful for. Remember, it’s all about the both/and, not either/or. Your loved one will feel heard, held, and comforted when you make the emotional space to stay with them in their distress. In all the aloneness of COVID, it’s these moments of connection that serve to heal and repair.

This will end someday. We will get through this. You are not alone.

Take good and gentle care of yourselves.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by all of your feelings, please reach out, our therapists can help. I encourage you to learn more about Depression and Anxiety and click here to schedule an appointment.