There was a time, earlier this year, when I was hoping to be celebrating my 20 year college reunion this month. Alas, the pandemic nixed that plan (and pretty much every other plan…sigh). While I won’t be feasting at a lobster bake - I went to school in Maine - I did get the opportunity to “see” a bunch of fellow alumni over a virtual zoom video conference this past Sunday. It was absolutely wonderful! So much more fun and intimate than I had expected! I caught up with friends (most of whom I haven’t seen or rarely spoken to in at least 15 years), met their children, exchanged pandemic homeschooling war stories, and just basked in the positive vibes of social intimacy.
The irony doesn’t escape me that my last blog post was centered around the importance of connection and cultivating friendships that support and feed the soul, pretty much just before COVID-19 turned our worlds upside down and, seemingly overnight, cut us off from one another in total and complete fashion. All of a sudden, we began practicing “social distancing”, a slightly softer way of saying “social isolation.” In those first few weeks, the sense of being cut off from friends, family, even strangers on the street weighed heavily on my sense of well-being. I’ve heard the same from nearly everyone I’ve spoken to - human beings are social creatures, we long for connection. While it certainly isn’t easy, over time it feels like we, as a society, have begun to adjust to this new normal, finding alternative ways to maintain our sense of connectedness to our loved ones.
A fellow therapist said to me that we are practicing “physical, not emotional distance.” It’s a simple reframe that reminds me that emotional intimacy can be found in a phone call, a whatsapp thread, and even a mini Zoom college reunion. To be honest, because I just gave birth, I already knew that I wouldn’t be attending reunion and if the pandemic had never occurred, I doubt that I would have seen or spoken to most of the college friends I saw this past Sunday. In a time where I’ve felt more disconnected than I’ve ever felt in my life, I reconnected with college friends in a way I never would have imagined pre-coronavirus. What a lovely reminder that we can indeed come together - socially, emotionally, and intimately - all while remaining apart - physically distant and safe.
I wish you continued good health and emotional connection. This is a weird and scary time to be alive. Reach out to your networks and share your fears, sadness, joy, and good humor. “Hold” one another and share the emotional load of this craziness. We will get through this, I promise.
Take good care.
If you’re finding yourself struggling dealing with the impact of COVID-19, don’t hesitate to reach out. Whether you’re feeling increased levels of depression or anxiety, we’re here to help.